Let me start with a rhetorical question: what do many people have in common? You may come up with lists of items but for me what most people have in common is the thought of what they DON’T HAVE. Some cannot progress in their organization for they don’t have the right management. Some cannot start or improve a business because there are never enough resources. Some do not have time, some do not have money, some do not have support or experience to do what one wishes to. I am calling these the ‘don’t haves’ and if you look deep within, you will find you have got them too. We are but human.
Now what do these ‘don’t haves’ sound like. ‘I’m working such long hours I just don’t have enough free time to spend with the family’. ‘I am from a small town and I don’t have the right contacts needed for a raise in business.’ ‘I’m competent but I don’t have the means to buy a house in the locality that I want to.’
We need to remember that limitations are a part of one’s life and existence. We should not succumb to the factors that we do not have, for at the end of the day they are barriers between what you are and what you wish to be. You will also notice that when you overcome a few of these ‘don’t haves,’ some new ones appear unceremoniously and push you into the dungeons of despair, once again. I have a workable design for this. I call it SPAR. It is an acronym; the spark is not missing here but the missing spark may be realized if we paid some attention to these.
So, let’s see what this means?
S- The S stands for support. Is there an expert in your field that you can converse with, share your stories with? Is there an online community of fellow friends who can share their plight with you and work together to find some solutions? Do you have someone in the family or among your friends who isinterested in the same goal and who can share some advice with you and support you? You could join a group of like-minded individuals, share your angst and get the support you need.
P- The P stands for perspective. You must remember that different views and varied ideas can open your mind to solutions that you had not thought about earlier. Sometimes we get so stuck in our heads that we cannot see a way out even though it is staring right into our faces. A fresh perspective to situations can, in most cases, give you a new lease of life and guide you towards the best possible resolutions.
A-The A stands for answers to questions you must ask. Ask a trusted family member or a friend as to what you should do. Brainstorm solutions, open your heart out to seek what is right and best for you. If you can let go of your ego and uncertainties and ask for help from the right people, your life will be happier than ever before. The ‘don’t haves’, will gradually wither away.
R- The R stands for research. This is the age of technological boom. There are workshops, sites, blogs, websites, journals at your fingertips that can generate solutions for all that you don’t have, right in your homes. Read a relevant book, ask an expert sitting across the globe for advice, check a discussion on the blog, join a course to upgrade yourself from a university that you had only dreamt of, which you could now enroll for an online course.
The world is your playground, enjoy and bring back the spark into your life.
The ‘don’t haves’ are barriers that can be toxic. Don’t pander to them but, take a step back, SPAR and then take those steps forward. Life is good.
